The GoldfinchDVD - 2019
From the critics
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Monologue at the beginning of film:
In Amsterdam, I dreamed I saw my mother again. She was just as glad to see me as I was to see her. Same beautiful pale blue eyes. Everything would've turned out better if she had lived. As it was, she died when I was a kid. And when I lost her... I lost sight of any landmark that might've led me some place happier. You see, her death was my fault. Everybody used to tell me that it wasn't. That it was a terrible accident. Which is all perfectly true. And I don't believe a word of it. It was my fault. Just like everything that's happened since. The painting. The painting. All my fault. I lost something that should have been immortal. I didn't mean to do it. Because what I've done cannot be undone. It doesn't matter that I'm going to die. But for all time, for as long as history is written, that painting will be remembered and mourned.
(The book also began in Amsterdam but packed with more details:
WHILE I WAS STILL in Amsterdam, I dreamed about my mother for the first time in years. ... (half a dozen pages later) ... Her death was my fault. Other people have always been a little too quick to assure me that it wasn’t; and yes, only a kid, who could have known, terrible accident, rotten luck, could have happened to anyone, it’s all perfectly true and I don’t believe a word of it. ...)
Much later in the film:
You talk about bad things you have done. And you blame yourself. You wish... wish you were dead. So we have done bad things. But maybe sometimes good can come from bad.
(The book's prose during the same moment:
“Well—I have to say I personally have never drawn such a sharp line between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ as you. For me: that line is often false. The two are never disconnected. One can’t exist without the other. As long as I am acting out of love, I feel I am doing best I know how. But you—wrapped up in judgment, always regretting the past, cursing yourself, blaming yourself, asking ‘what if,’ ‘what if.’ ‘Life is cruel.’ ‘I wish I had died instead of.’ Well—think about this. What if all your actions and choices, good or bad, make no difference to God? What if the pattern is pre-set? No no—hang on—this is a question worth struggling with. What if our badness and mistakes are the very thing that set our fate and bring us round to good? What if, for some of us, we can’t get there any other way?”... )
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